Scripture
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Observation
Turns out it’s the fathers job to raise their children in the ways of the Lord. Paul doesn’t give the Dad’s any wiggle room here. He calls us on the fact that sometimes we abdicate our authority and our responsibility to others like Mom, Grandparents, older siblings, teachers, youth pastors, etc. He looks us right in the eyes and says, “this is your job!” Then, when all the fathers start squirming in their seats as they think about how much time that’s going to take in their already busy schedules he says, “don’t take your frustrations out on them.” If you want to teach your kids self control first you have to control yourself. It doesn’t matter how long your day was, how tired you are, how much attitude your kid is dishing, you don’t have the luxury of “letting them have it” because you are the ones modeling the love of the Heavenly Father. Both of the words used here, discipline and instruction, are used to describe the purpose of the Scriptures (2 Timothy 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 10:11). Parents are to raise their children not just with their own words but on the Word of God.
Application
Our church is in interesting season right now. Our full-time youth pastor transitioned out and, thankfully, Ben and Kendall Lipps stepped in as volunteer interim youth directors. They both work full time but still give of their time to our Jr & Sr High. I have three boys in youth group so I have a vested interest in the success of our youth ministry both personally and as the pastor. I have talked with parents who are justifiably concerned that we don’t have a full time youth leader. In our conversations we have all recognized how easy it is to just let “the professionals” work with our young people especially with how busy life can get. I wanted to hire a youth pastor, but I felt a caution from The Holy Spirit. He wanted to remind me and our other parents of teens that, for a short season, we are the new youth pastor. The goal would be that over the next few months we would build a team of parents that would serve in teaching, games, food, small groups etc. The truth is that we are the ones most uniquely qualified and actually commanded by God, as seen in this passage, to “bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” The answer to our prayers for our kids are already in the room. It’s us! Now, I know, it’s not nearly as cool when parents are hanging around. But, I’ve observed that most young people want to be where they are loved and accepted regardless of how old they are. Specifically regarding Dads, a recent article presents some compelling reasons that validate what Paul is commanding here: “Involved fatherhood is linked to better outcomes on nearly every measure of child wellbeing, from cognitive development and educational achievement to self-esteem and pro-social behavior. Children who grow up with involved fathers are: 39% more likely to earn mostly A’s in school, 45% less likely to repeat a grade, 60% less likely to be suspended or expelled from school, twice as likely to go to college and find stable employment after high school, 75% less likely to have a teen birth, and 80% less likely to spend time in jail.” In other words, Dad, you’re the new youth pastor! This generation needs us to step up and speak in to their lives!
Prayer
God gave us this word in our staff meeting yesterday as we were praying over this season at The Fathers House, “5Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and awesome Day of the LORD. 6And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse.” (Malachi 4:5-6). I love how You get our attention Lord. You give us this word just before Fathers Day about the importance of fathers investing in their children. You give us this verse out of Malachi the day after the miracle birth of Malachi Sutliff. You give me this verse as I sit next to my son Ben who is going to be a Freshmen in High School in the Fall. You give me this verse today as Jerry, a man I just met this morning here at Buccaneers, shares how his greatest legacy is that he raised three children who are all following The Lord. You’ve got my attention Lord. My first ministry is to my family. I’m the new youth pastor.
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