Scripture
1In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2by observing your pure and reverent lives…7In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 8Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 1 Peter 3:1-8
Observation
When Peter wrote this letter to the 1st Century Church it would have been considered a radical departure from the norm in terms of male/female relationships. “In that ancient culture a husband had absolute rights over his wife and the wife had virtually no rights in the marriage. In the Roman world, if a man caught his wife in an act of adultery he could kill her on the spot. But if a wife caught her husband, she could do nothing against him. All the duties and obligations in marriage were put on the wife. Peter’s radical teaching is that the husband has God-ordained duties and obligations toward his wife.” (Guzik) Ironically, these words are just as controversial in the 21st Century as they also present a radical departure from the norms of male/female relationships specifically regarding marriage. Rather than leaning away from the differences between the genders, Peter, led by The Holy Spirit, leans into them as an obvious part of our God-given design and helping define how we complement rather than compete with each other. In the command for a husband to honor his wife a rare Greek word is used describing “the feminine one”. Why did he use this word? Because, when Peter is talking about the “weaker sex” he is referring to that fact that a women is, in general, physically weaker than a man and the man should use the strength God has given him to serve, protect, cover, and care for her. This isn’t saying that a man is stronger mentally, emotionally, or spiritual than a women, but that they are “equal partners” on the eternal gift of salvation that both have received from Christ and that neither could earn for themselves. Their submission to the Lord yields a “humble attitude” with each other. It’s a beautiful picture of the union that comes when the patriarchy and matriarchy are submitted to the Monarchy of the King of Kings in their marriage. Notice also, the husbands are intentionally singled out to see a direct connection between their treatment of their wives and the answer to their prayers. In other words, if they abuse their position of authority that has been entrusted to them in the home with their wives and children, then they will have little spiritual authority when they stand before the Lord in prayer. This begs the question, if my prayers are going unanswered how have I been treating my wife?
Application
Ok, yes I did it. I actually went to go see The Barbie movie this past weekend if, for no other reason, then to find out what all the hype was about. People were showing up in droves dressed to the nines in every existing shade of pink. The theaters were filled with mothers and daughters who, I assumed, both played/play with Barbies. Only having raised boys I felt like a foreigner in a foreign land trying to understand the draw behind this pink wave that had crashed over the culture zeitgeist of the moment. I came out of this movie realizing quite clearly that this was not an innocent family movie for mothers and daughters celebrating the joy of a shared toy like The Lego Movie or the Toy Story movies. No, this was the most in-your-face attack on the male gender I have yet witnessed in cinema. Bottom line, every women was brilliant and every man was an idiot. Let me clarify, this is not meant to be a review of the movie. I’m just sharing my experience that stands in such stark contrast to the words of life I’ve just read in 1 Peter 3 today. The overarching plot was that in Barbie World women run everything and in the Real World men run everything. When the vapid and insecure Ken discovers the joys of a stereotypical male dominated society in LA he tries to take over Barbie World while she has her own existential identity crisis. Spoiler alert, the Barbies band together with a mother and daughter’s help from the Real World to put the Ken’s back in their subservient place. At the end of the movie when a Ken asks if he can run for Supreme Court in Barbie World he is told that will never happen. The irony is that the movie contradicts its own message. Even as they were clearly showing how wrong it is to only have men in positions of power in the Real World they literally end the movie doing the very same thing to the men in Barbie World. This ultimately leaves every young girl walking out of the Barbie movie with the overwhelming feeling that men are repressive, motherhood is a tool of the patriarchy to keep them down rather then a gift from God, and that marriage is a box that men want to use to keep women trapped under their control. Why am I even taking time to address this? Barbie opened to the 4th biggest box office weekend in history and is on everyone’s mind whether they saw it or not. This has become a cultural touchstone and I can’t ignore the teaching of today’s passage in contrast the message of The Barbie Movie. The answer from Barbie seems to be that the cure to our cultural woes is to subvert or simply ignore the opposite gender or even pretend there’s no such thing as gender in the first place. Instead of destroying, denigrating, or downplaying the opposite gender, Scripture calls us to “Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” The “Barbiefication” of marriage (yes, I made that word up) requires that we find all the flaws in the opposite sex and exploit them for our own ends until such a time as the marriage is no longer personally beneficial. The beautification of marriage according to scripture is of a covenantal celebration of a man and woman placing God at the center of a life long relationship as an “equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” Submission over subjugation is a much more hopeful message to share in light of the love of Jesus. This truth won’t break any box office records, but will hopefully keep some marriages from breaking apart. In the face of such a bleak outlook between men and women currently being propagated and celebrated the answer is not to argue someone to our view, but rather to serve them with tenderhearted humility.
Prayer
Lord, I want to start out by thanking You for showing me what true love looks like in Cyndi. She is the daily embodiment of a woman of God who trusts my authority as her husband because she trusts my submission to You. She is incredibly patient and forgiving of me when I get it wrong and become self-serving at times. She is gifted, strong, creative, and one of the most gifted leaders I know even as she leads as an example in Real Estate and to our boys. In this male-hating climate she celebrates what my boys are uniquely gifted to bring to this world, challenges them to find ways to serve their sisters in the faith, while never needing to sell herself short on who You’ve made her to be. I pray that You would continue to show us how to point people to Your way of loving and living as opposed to the Barbie way so many are buying into.
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