Scripture
28 “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, 29but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 30Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’ 31 “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’” Luke 15:28-32
Observation
The Jews were God’s chosen people. The religious leaders spoke on behalf of God to His people. Jesus had the audacity to disrupt this power equilibrium by inviting “the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.” (Lk. 14:21) to the table as if it belonged to Him. Which of course, it did, and it does. Like the older brother in this parable the religious leaders couldn’t celebrate miraculous healings on the Sabbath because it wasn’t done by them or through them or for them. They looked at Jesus as a threat rather than a confirmation of all they had taught was true. The older son couldn’t accept that two things can be true at once. The father’s love and forgiveness for the prodigal son in no way diminished his love for his older son. His celebration of his younger son’s return home in no way negated his gratefulness that his older son who'd never left home. The younger son was getting a party, the older son would receive everything his father owned and yet the older took this acceptance of the younger as a rejection of himself.
Application
When we play the comparison game everyone loses. Here’s an easy way to tell if we’ve succumbed to “The Older Son Syndrome”, when someone else is successful do we celebrate with them or compare ourselves to them? I remember many times when my sons were younger that the older sons would sometimes feel upset or overlooked when we celebrated the younger sons success at school, sports, or at home. We would sit them down and try to talk through why they felt this way and hopefully get them to see that when someone else wins we do too! Overcoming the insecurity of “The Older Son Syndrome” is easier said than done. Especially in the age of social media where we are seeing everyone’s highlight reels and concluding their life is so much better than ours. Even if it is better, why can’t I rejoice in that? For the same reason the older son couldn’t take part in the feast for the younger son- We want all eyes on us! We know that a rising tide raises all ships, but we don’t like that fact that their ship is bigger than ours! I struggle with this pride and insecurity all the time which is especially egregious because the church I’m serving isn’t mine, it’s God’s. So, yesterday I went in the opposite spirit and it was so liberating. We celebrated the 19 year anniversary of The Father’s House with a big island-style party afterwards. Instead of patting ourselves on the back for all God did through us, we focused on what God had done and was doing through other ministries. We kicked off the service by celebrating the new non profit Marc Wymore had started to serve the local church through worship and the arts. We celebrated the fact that Benji Horning of Light Church, Andrew Henneforth of Park Church, and Shane Rogers of Heart Church had all come from this church and were now successfully reaching their communities for Christ in North County. We heard from Agner Medrano of Victory Outreach, Nate Gushwa of Salt Church, and Taylor Jensen of Fireplace Ministries and how God was them in unique ways to serve our community. It was probably one of my all time favorite Sundays because it was about The Kingdom, not Jon’s Kingdom. It was about the Name over our hearts and not the name over our building. It was about the unique ways God is moving through His people who say Yes and walk through the door of faith. If we find ourselves unable to celebrate the success of those around us Mike Robbins suggests a few soul searching questions to find the root reasons:
What if we looked beyond our reaction and beneath our judgment…and asked ourselves some questions like:
“What is it about this person’s success that has me feeling threatened?”
“How can I learn from what I see in them or in what they’ve accomplished?”
“What can I do to let go of my inferior (or superior) reaction to this, and more deeply trust and believe in myself, (My Lord), and my process?”
Prayer
What a way to celebrate Your faithfulness Jesus! I’m so thankful that You have used The Father’s House to birth some many amazing leaders and ministries and I pray for the grace to continue to do so! Everything You have belongs to me, not so that I cling to it, or point to it, but so that I can give it away. I want to be the loudest voice shouting Your praise when my bothers and sisters see success in reaching people through the ministries You’ve entrusted to them. Forgive me for the places of pride, insecurity, comparison and jealousy that have kept me seeing that every win for Your Kingdom is a win for every one in Your Kingdom!
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