Scripture
16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20
Observation
Matthew gives us the raw unedited account of the apostolic assignment, the very mission we are all called to. It’s so very encouraging to know that the ones being sent out to change the world were filled with delight AND with doubt. The disciples didn’t worship in the absence of doubt, they worshipped in spite of their doubt. France writes, “When they recognized him, it was natural that they worshipped him, but the whole experience was so mysterious and overwhelming that some doubted … The verb distazo does not denote a settled unbelief, but a state of uncertainty and hesitation.” We’ve all been there. Certain of what we believe, but uncertain of our ability to carry out what Jesus has called us to. Jesus saw the doubt they had, but He never doubted them for a second. This doubt didn’t disqualify them. If anything it made them even more dependent upon the Holy Spirit who would fill them in the upper room in Jerusalem. Jesus didn’t see the presence of doubt and scrap the whole plan. Jesus has the authority to send whomever He wants and He chose a bunch of conflicted disciples who are equal parts in awe and awkward. This gives me great hope that God could use a guy like me to do the same.
Application
Over the years I’ve heard an insidious lie that sounds like truth coming from the mouths of many seekers. In the face of a history of hypocrisy in the church the younger generation especially has been striving for an authentic faith. This is admirable and good. Yet, in the name of authenticity they have often told me they can’t come to church, worship Jesus, attend Life Group because they still have a lot of doubts and they don’t want to be hypocritical. Yet, I don’t think anyone would accuse the disciples and Jesus of being hypocrites in this moment on the mountain even though there were doubts present in God’s presence. If anything, it’s hypocritical to say that we will never have doubts when following Jesus. Look at the authentic faith of the father who’s boy was demon possessed in Mark 9. When he asked if Jesus could heal the boy Jesus responded, 23“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” 24The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” This man’s doubt was not a rebellion or rejection but rather a desire for God’s promise. Sometimes what Jesus is saying He wants to do seems too good to be true. Thus he said, “help my unbelief!” “Help my unbelief is something a man can only say by faith.”(Guzik) “While men have no faith, they are unconscious of their unbelief; but, as soon as they get a little faith, then they begin to be conscious of the greatness of their unbelief.” (Spurgeon). It’s not a stretch to say that the existence of doubt in a disciple is a sure sign that they are being stretched to follow Jesus beyond their own ability. Don’t stay away from worship because of doubt, but use the doubt as a springboard for your faith to go into some new territory. The poet Rainer Maria Rilke, “Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Prayer
I’m so thankful that this description of the doubting disciples is here in the same passage as the Great Commission. So many times I doubt Your plan to change the world through people like me. Then, I doubt You can use me because I’m doubting. It’s a vicious circle that You are breaking through this morning! You are with me in the middle of my worship and my doubt, in middle of my awe and awkwardness. You don’t distance Yourself from me when I find myself doubting You. So, I’ll keep going, because I get to go with You. Doubt doesn’t disqualify me because You have qualified me so I’m not going to let it distract me from You.
Komentar